Mind Body & Soul

Mind Body & Soul with Lakesha Woods

"Living in Sin all in the Name of Love"

Question from reader Response from Lakesha Woods | Published July 17, 2010

Reader: SinCity

Dear Lakesha,

Here it is: My boyfriend says that we can't get married because we are too young, but in my heart I feel that it is wrong to just live together. I know that times have changed but my family raised me to believe in marriage. I love my boyfriend but I would feel very embarrassed if we just lived together.I don't know maybe because it would be out in the open that I am having sex with someone that is not my husband and I really want the first man that I live with to be my husband.

It's 2010 and who cares anymore, I think I've heard that one thousand - one hundred times. I know that to have a lasting marriage it must be more than just love in the pot to keep the marriage boiling. Maybe I'm not expressing myself best; a boiling marriage doesn't sound too hot - there I go again with my odd descriptions.

Lakesha, what would you suggest. I'm 21, just about to go into my last year of college and I really want to start my life out the right way. But there is just something that continues to hold me back from making the move. The biggest reason I would say is because I don't want to hear other peoples mouth. Why, you living with a man, you ain't married, that boy just using you etc, etc. The last thing I need is stress and another reason is because I was always taught that God honors marriage. My boyfriend says we could save money and have a nice wedding later but times are too hard to spend lots of money on a wedding. Now one minute its we are too young and the next minute he says we need to save money first , so sometimes I question if marriage is really want he wants or does he want to just have a roommate with benefits to help him pay half the bills.Uggh!

Signed,

SinCity

Lakesha's Response to SinCity

SinCity,

Thanks for sharing your situation. I think you should follow your heart. Don't do anything that's going to have you pacing the floor day in and day out, why stress? Explain to your boyfriend that this is a very important step for you and if he's going to be there for you then he will be patient. Also explain to him your beliefs. I really think that if he knows you well he shouldn't even approach you about doing something that he (already) knows that you don't believe in doing. That's kinda like someone asking you to smoke weed (marijuana) when they know good and well you don't do that! So check your relationship because your boyfriend at this point, should know your religious beliefs and what you will and will not stand for and don't throw on the religious coat now. If you are having sex before marriage, honey you are still in Sin-City if you know like I know! But girl, ease your Mind Body & Soul and put it out there... don't waste time trying to rationalize with yourself. Right is wrong and wrong is wrong and if it don't feel right, then suga' its all wrong! Take note ~Lakesha

Readers What's Your Advice? Questions? Email lakesha@enjoylifemagazine.com

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My inspirational message to you this month is advising you to take the necessary time to learn yourself. Knowing who you are and being yourself is the best gift that anyone could ever give themselves. Who are you today? Get to know yourself and be unwavering in your decisions. People will tell you to do this, do that, and this worked for me. It's all good, but what's best is what works for you. If you can manage to remember that much then you will find it much easier to live your life in the truth. It's hard to be true to yourself when you are trying to accommodate everyone else.

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To be yourself should seem to be very simple and yet some find it to be so hard. We live a bit too much for image and the likes of others. As my grandmother use to often say; If I had to live off of the likes of others ... well, I may as well be dead. She was a woman who stood her ground and sincerely believed in being herself ...at any cost. Now I'm not advising you to be belligerent or obnoxious. Just be who God created you to be, because there is no other individual in this world exactly like you. We are all unique in our own special way. Be proud of yourself, because if you aren't chances are no one else will be.